An Egg, Once Again.
TUESDAY’S WORKOUT (CAP)
A) 3 Rounds for Quality (RFQ) on the 3:00
6 Alt DB Split Jerks
*2 min cutoff*
B) 10 min MU skill work – priority is hip extension
C) EMOM 10
O: 4 Alt DB Snatch (80/55)
E: Max effort Pull-ups
AND COMING WEDNESDAY (CAP)
4 Rounds for Time (RFT): 40 min cut off
10 Alt Turkish Get-ups (24/16)
20 KB Goblet Squats
30 Alt KB Cleans
50 Sit ups
**If athlete sets KB down during goblet squats or RKBs a 10 burpee penalty is assessed at that time.**
How many times over the course of your life have you spent time, effort and energy getting good at something, forming a relationship, becoming well versed, achieving a sense of mastery, becoming really excellent at your job, and then, for some reason or another, had to move on, change gears, or start over from scratch? Remember back when you were just a kid – and it happened for the first time, you ‘broke up’ with your best friend or girlfriend… you had no experience and you just had to figure it out as you went along, while dealing with the emotional upset it created inside.
Do you remember the last time you went through it? Have you gotten any better at it? Have you been able to detach the actual event from what you make it mean inside about yourself… the judgement? If you haven’t, you’re probably uncomfortable with me even asking this question… not wanting to think about or experience what you went through the last time it happened, and dreading what you might experience if it happened again.
What if you got the chance to get some practice around this? So that it wasn’t something to dread after all, just another way to experience being alive? That is something we’re all after in the world of self-mastery, right?
I got the chance to experience this just the other day – quite by accident. Back in January, the coaching staff at CFLA started doing a program together called the Artist’s Way… and part of it involves writing 3 pages every morning (‘morning pages’). I chose to do my writing on a website called http://www.750words.com, and of course, it gives you small, seemingly insignificant, incentives (badges) for continuing to write each day without missing.
I wrote a few days in a row… went from an “Egg” (the badge you start with) to a “Turkey”… and then a few days later, to a “Penguin.” I started to get into a rhythm… every morning, before doing everything else, I would write for 15-20 minutes (750 words). Though daunting, I was actually getting a lot out of it, and was enjoying the challenge, and the slow and steady graduation from Egg to, at day 30, “The Albatross.”
I was thinking that by the time I finished the Artist’s Way program (12 weeks from the start), I would be almost to the next level at day 100, “The Phoenix”. Yee-ha!
And then IT happened. On day 61, I woke up knowing I wasn’t going to start the day by writing… I had a Little League Baseball game to coach and I would get to my writing later in the day… But I didn’t. I went through the day, totally oblivious to my commitment to writing.
And then I woke up the next morning with a pit in my stomach. Oh No! didn’t. Yes… I did… I didn’t write. Nothing mattered. All of the time, effort, practice, energy, words, early mornings, early-early mornings, focus, attention… 60 days of consistency… made no difference. And then there was all the meaning, self-aggrandizement, and ego I had put on top of my ‘accomplishment’ of writing for 50+ days in a row, and the ease with which I thought I would get to 100+… GONE in a flash.
I am, once again, an Egg.
Yes, I went through some judgement, no, A LOT of judgement… and it was a good subject for my writing on the day that I started once again, back at Day 1. But I didn’t quit. And I didn’t let my feelings get in the way of taking my next action (an Egg – REALLY?) And I forgave myself… for all the judgements I had on myself – starting with how stupid… both to miss, and to place so much importance on this silly little badge.
I’m now on to Day 2… I’m still an Egg. In these two days, I got the chance to practice having a simple non-action cause a significant upset and loss, tempting me to just throw in the towel, give up, quit… saying why bother? And as tempting as that might have been, choosing a different path… one that had me go through the upset, experience the pain and discomfort, then forgive myself and all the judgements I had placed on myself, stand back up, dust myself off, and make the choice to simply start over. And through it, I got the chance to re-join the ranks of humanity… what’s difference between “The Phoenix” after 100 days and “The Egg” on Day 1? Poof.