Comparison and Expectation
Rowing Intervals –
1:00 on / 2:00 offSometimes when someone makes a request of me I fill in the outcome in my head, before I’ve even had a chance to truly ponder, and so I respond based on my preconceived notions and not to the actual scenario at hand. Because perhaps last time I was presented with this scenario it didn’t go well. Maybe I finished last in a similar workout, maybe I didn’t enjoy spending time with a certain person, or maybe I failed at something and felt stupid. Why would I invite that in again? And maybe what you’re presenting to me isn’t even all that much like the past scenarios, but I’m so wary I don’t even see that. I am stuck in a pattern of expectations and comparison. I’m not living in a free world.
When you make a request, I compare it to all my previous experiences. If I’ve always been miserable at a certain exercise, why would I assume today would be any different? If I’ve always thought a person was a jerk, why would I enjoy time with them today? I compare your request to my past and I create an expectation. I live into that negative expectation. And you? You all have no hope but to live into my miserable expectation. I won’t let you be anything but what I’ve already decided. I won’t let myself enjoy this exercise. I can’t see you, or it, or us as anything else.
But what if that wasn’t so?
What if I forgot I’d ever done wall ball before? What if I forgot that girl always annoys me in class? What if I forgot I thought I’m no good at this stuff?
Imagine today you get to be whoever and however you want. Imagine today you are a superhero, an adventurer, an Olympian, or simply a you who loves each moment all day long. Imagine everything you do is right, and good, and perfect. Imagine you are having fun and you like that girl and you love this workout.
If we live our lives based on comparing and assessing, we live on a planet locked in the orbit of negativity and failure. Instead, let’s launch into space and see what happens there.