Just Another Show Up Day

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Yesterday, I failed. It was a day at the gym specifically designed to see how much improvement I’ve made over the past 12 weeks in the 20-rep-max front squat. It’s re-test week… and I’m used to actually seeing improvement – even if it’s just a little bit. I’ve been training every week for the past 12 weeks… and been at most of the workouts during which we’ve practiced our 20-rep-max front squat. 

But yesterday… I don’t know. I think the first thing that threw me was seeing for the first time that even with all the training over the past 12 weeks, I was potentially only going to increase my best effort by 5 pounds.  And that 5-pound increase was something I had achieved weeks before… today I felt like I needed to do more to make it “worth it”, even though inside I knew I wasn’t “feelin’ it”. An increase of just 1 or 2 pounds, over 12 weeks… really? Pfffft… hardly worth it. I would do it… and make it count.

I loaded the bar up with 185 – 10 lbs over my best from 12 weeks ago, and 5 pounds over my best effort in this cycle. I psyched myself up… convinced myself that, yes, I could do it… I could do anything. I got through the first 10 reps OK… knowing the second 10 was going to be rough… and by the time I got to 15, I was done. DROP.

I left the workout feeling down, dejected, even feeling like I was a failure. Yes, I know… silly… I’ve achieved so many amazing things over the past 20 years physically, even entertaining the idea that I’m a failure is ridiculous… and yet. There it was. I sat with it – in a straddle stretch after class for 10 minutes… reflecting during that time what I would say to myself if I was my own coach.

In those 10 minutes I found my compassion and empathy… and was able to forgive myself for judging myself as a failure. It wasn’t the failure that was getting me down, it was my own self judgement. Because the truth of the matter is… I’m pretty much anything in life but a failure (I’m sharing this because I’m sure I’m not the only person who has gone through these feelings after a workout at CFLA – and I know that you too, are anything but a failure!)

And then, after compassion and empathy, four words came to mind… the same four words that I used when I opened Petranek Fitness 10 years ago. 

“Show Up. Don’t Quit.”

Today… failure and all… today was a “show up day”. Nothing more, nothing less. And yes, there’s always this to look forward to… there will be plenty more failures on show up days. 

And quit? Hell no. 

Wednesday’s Workout
Retest Week

800m Run
800m Row
200m Sandbag front carry (100/70)
**40min cap**

**See August 20 for test results**

And Coming Thursday
Retest Week

A) “Cosgrove’s Evil 8”
Romanian Deadlift
Bentover Row
Power Clean
Front Squat
Push Press
Back Squat
Good Morning
**Hold onto bar during each round**
**Rest 90sec between each round**

B) Max reps in 2min
Sandbag ground to shoulder (100/70)

**See August 21 for test results**



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