Letting Go of the Outcome

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Today’s Workout
Complete as many rounds as posible in 20 minutes of:
300m Run
200m Farmer’s Carry (50-55# dbs/35# dbs)
10 Dead Hang Pull UpsWhen I started adventure racing, waaaaay back in 1995, I did it for two reasons that have the look and feel of one… fun and adventure. I had no expectations, no idea how I would do, no idea how I would pay for it (I wrote a $10,000 check to get my team in, but didn’t really have that kind of money), didn’t even know how to do many of the outdoor skills required of me in the race. All I knew is that it was going to be fun, exciting and an incredible adventure.

When I retired from my short “professional” adventure racing stint (’99-’03) in 2003, things had changed for me. I was bored with traveling to the same courses year after year, I knew all the how’s, when’s, why’s, what’s, and who’s of every location, every race, every season. I knew all the strategies, I knew how to cut all the corners, I knew how to train, what to wear, how much to drink and eat, when to wake up in the morning, how to pack my bike in the my well worn travel case. And, more importantly than all that, I had an expectation. I expected to win, or at least to be in the top three. So not doing so led to me feeling disappointed, like it was a waste of time.

One of the things that I LOVE about CrossFit is that even after 8 years of doing it, it doesn’t get old or boring. There is always something new, fun and different to learn, something I’m not as good at as someone else, something that makes me want to get back into the gym and train again the next day. For me, the ONE thing that has had the ability to “taint the water”, is my own expectation (judgement) of my performance. For CrossFit to continue to be fun, exciting and an adventure for me, I have to constantly remind myself to let go of the outcome. If I keep showing up, the outcome will come, in spite all the things in my head that might say otherwise (why aren’t you rx’ing the weight, why haven’t you pr’d in a year, why didn’t you qualify for the games as a master in your first year of eligibility, you should be faster, you really suck at Olympic lifting, why are guys 40# heavier than you doing more muscle ups than you, you should be more flexible, you should spend more time training in the gym, you should be able to run a marathon barefoot, you shouldn’t be getting beat by so-and-so, you should be on the leaderboard in EVERYTHING, etc).

So now, I continue to train for fun, adventure and excitement, but I also train to keep my mind from poisoning the well, training to continue to let go of the outcome, expectation, judgement. When I’m succeeding, I’m looking forward to tomorrow and having fun today… that is a big win for me. And I’m finding THAT to be as big a challenge and as much “fun” as any other training I’ve ever taken on!

6 am!



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