My CrossFit Confession

My CrossFit Confession


WEDNESDAY’S WORKOUT (CAP)
PRACTICE

A) 1-2-3-4-5-4-3-2-1
DB Squat Clean (45/30)
Weighted Pull-up

B) 10 min MU Skill Work

C) With a partner, complete
3 Rounds for Quality (RFQ)
15 Calories Row
25 Squats

D) 15 minutes, 1RM Snatch

AND COMING THURSDAY
PRACTICE

A) 2k Row, for time

B) 3 RFQ
6 DB Snatch (60/40)
9 DB Thrusters (60/40)
12 GHD Sit-ups

C) In 20 minutes, complete
Front Squat 3×3 (+2 / +5)
3x max effort Ring Push-ups / Push-ups
Here’s a confession: I don’t like to CrossFit. I mean, I don’t like to CrossFit outside of the walls of CFLA. This was made very apparent when Andy and I went to Colorado for a CF business seminar and during one of the days they asked us all to test a new baseline. My stomach sunk at the suggestion. The seminar was comprised of gym owners and managers so for the most part they were all a bunch of studs and studettes. Or so I thought. I told Andy, “I’ll just observe.” He looked at me perplexed because he doesn’t often see me shy away from something. Then it all came pouring out – as much to my surprise as his – about how I didn’t want to represent CFLA in front of others when, as one of the leaders, I was such a mediocre athlete. I didn’t care about embarrassing myself. As its representative, I didn’t want to embarrass the gym.

I feel safe to fail and be average at home – at CFLA — because in that safety I’ve been able to find my personal strengths: Inspiring through fun and heart and love and spirit and consistency and, ironically, courage no matter what my times or scores are.

Andy talked me through the Colorado incident and I did the baseline – of course – and it was all fine. Of course. Quite a few people from the seminar did not do it, and I would have been pissed if I had allowed myself to be one of them. Nobody puts Diz in the corner – not even Diz!

But those same feelings came up at the thought of doing 14.5 at Trojan CrossFit. Not only was I confronted with doing the workout outside our safe walls, but it happened to be the hardest of all the Open workouts. Every feeling of inadequacy swelled. I had put a lot of effort into pumping up this event with the organizers and now I had to grapple with all my fears IN FRONT OF THEM – these people who didn’t know me well. “I’m gonna do 14.5 on Friday, not at Trojan,” I told Kenny and Niki. Kenny gave me a soft smile and Niki yelled, “No! No, you’re not!” I wanted to crawl under my desk because, like anyone, I hate exposing my emotional weaknesses.

Obviously, I did the workout on Saturday at Trojan CrossFit. Deep down I knew I couldn’t back out of it. I know that being mediocre in numbers is only a tiny fraction of who I am as an athlete and a leader. Beforehand, I surrendered my fears because I was confident that my CFLA people would be there supporting me no matter what happened – even if I totally bombed. I decided to have as much fun as possible and in that, everything would be ok. I KNEW you guys would protect me from outside judgment when mainly you protect me from my internal judgment. Having our gym yell so fiercely for me — and for all our athletes who were suffering — only solidified the fact that as long as we give our all and have each other, how can there be judgment? I did give all I had – in the workout and right back to all of you, and I am so much better today because of it. Thank you. I love you guys.

Do you ever feel like you hide out from a workout or an event for fear of failing or fear of judgment? It’s guaranteed you’re not alone. It’s natural to feel this way. We’ve put a lot of effort into the culture at CFLA to make our athletes feel safe. If you feel safe and supported, your best will come out – whatever that best is. We’ve got you.

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CFLA getting Krasnow home during 14.5.

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