Oh How I’ve Failed – Let Me Count the Ways
Let’s start with my conception. My timing was a failure even before I was conscious. I was a big ol’ surprise, especially to my eighteen year old mother. Whoops. So, from the beginning, I was behind the eight ball.
In second grade, I had a huge crush on Jamie Steiner. Kid never noticed me. WHATEVER JAMIE STEINER.
In catholic school, in general, I was a f*ck up. I was usually the example of what not to do. I got a D in Social Studies and Effort in third grade. And I didn’t understand why everyone had a stick up their butts. And why couldn’t I talk during mass? And studying seemed impossible.
In middle school, I could never beat Mike Iba at one-on-one basketball. (But it was fun trying, if you know what I mean.)
In high school, I tanked my grades in my senior year because I ditched school so often to play basketball at Memorial Park.
Though I was MVP of your very mediocre Santa Monica Vikings, only one college came to see me, Northridge. They hinted at a partial scholarship, and I had no tools on how to follow that up.
I didn’t go to college.
I pined hard about going to college. Then did nothing about that.
I failed at becoming fluent in Spanish more than a handful of times.
I landed an interview for a job I really wanted, then marked down the wrong day and showed up to the interview a day late. What a heel!
I was hired to be a salsa dancer for the movie Mambo Kings, but I failed to take the offer. I was too scared to leave any of the three jobs I was working at the time for something that seemed frivolous. Sigh.
I took a chance working for a start up company and worked really hard from the ground up. As soon as I started to make real money, I blew most of it like a total idiot. And I ruined my credit. Welcome to your typical failure of one’s 20’s!
I once fell on the dance floor during a salsa exhibition when my partner stepped on my shoe. I don’t even need a metaphor for failing and getting back up — this one is literal!
I have failed at my share of relationships and friendships.
I failed at owning a business.
I should have written three books by now.
I’ve messed up this parenting thing a few times even when that’s the thing I work hardest at.
For the first 40 years of my life, I failed to realize that I alone am responsible for my happiness. Sometimes I still forget.
And currently, I’m totally blowing my prep for my next bikini bodybuilding competition. (Why did I eat all the food in New York?)
In blogs and coaching, I talk a lot about failure and not shying away from it. It occurred to me to point out some of the many times I’ve done it myself. If you know me from the gym and/or from Instagram or FB, my life looks pretty spectacular. That’s because it is, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t gone through a lot of failure to get here.
I still constantly wonder if I’ve done enough, if I’ve tried hard enough. Possibly not, but just like with the other items on my Failure Laundry List (I left MANY off to save time and space), I’m just going to keep going. I’ll dust myself off, and try again harder at the things I’m passionate about even if they’ve eluded me before. What else am I gonna do? Without the constant getting back up, my life would not be anywhere near as spectacular as it seems – and is.
0:00 – 20:00
1RM Weighted chinup
20:00 – 23:00
23:00 – 43:00
And Coming Wednesday
100 Double unders
20 Power snatches (95/65)
40 Jumping lunges
30 Hand-release pushups
20 Power cleans
100m Sandbag front carry (100/70)