Participating in Crush Cancer Matters

 In Blog

I wrote the below blog a year ago, right before Crush Cancer 2014, but I am reposting because not one word of this holds any less power and it the exact reason why I participate in Crush Cancer.

When I was fifteen, I had a dream that I rode a raccoon the size of a bison across a wheat field. The raccoon dropped me off in a dirt lot where my grandmother tilled the dirt. Her gardening efforts were futile, the ground barren, but I sat down close by and watched her in quiet support because anything she did was alright with me. She had a huge belly in the dream (not in real life) as if she were pregnant. The dreamed ended there.

A couple months later my grandmother died of pancreatic cancer at the age of fifty-two. She hadn’t told her family that she had cancer, only her husband. To this day, I’m upset she didn’t let us care for her and love her in her dying weeks. By the time she went to the hospital, it was too late to even see her as she lived a few hours away. They said her stomach was distended to where she looked eight months pregnant. She had felt that her situation was hopeless – she had found out about the cancer late herself – and she didn’t want us to be saddened or burdened because she felt her cancer was an automatic death sentence. In hindsight, I think she would realize that all of this, of course, saddened us more.

She and I were very close, connected on higher levels in some ways, thus the premonitory dream. She pretended like I was her own baby when we were together, and the fact that she was only 36 when I was born made that easy. She was the one person during my upbringing who loved me unconditionally. She taught me that. My capacity for love is huge because of her. And from everything I had been through as a kid, it was incredibly unfair and cruel that cancer took my one tether to love at the precarious age of fifteen. So f*ck you, cancer.

Participating in Crush Cancer is a no-brainer for me. As sad as my story reads, there are millions more like mine, and stories so much sadder. Cancer is a heart crusher. It is terrifying news. Having to tell Maya and Mina about my skin cancer earlier this year was incredibly hard and scary. As much as I’m an advocate of preventative care, there are millions still battling. There are countless families still praying hard for a cure just as I wished there had been one for Mama. I believe Stand Up 2 Cancer works diligently to grant that wish.

I know there are plenty of you affected by cancer in one way or another. Let’s do Crush Cancer together. We’ll raise some funds to keep the research for a cure going, and we’ll work out together on Oct 10 (2015’s date) with DogTown and other gyms in an energetic, hands-clasped stand against cancer.

Tuesday’s Workout

“Franklin Hill”

6 on the 6:00

Wednesday’s Workout

3-5 x 2 (~90-95%)

B) Dip Rampage
Focus on kip

100m SB Front carry
200m Run
20 HR Pushups



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